With the release of Porter Robinson’s third album SMILE!:D came the statistically unpopular track Year of the Cup, with the second-lowest amount of total Spotify plays on the whole album. And yet, I think this song is criminally underrated, and offers an interesting perspective into the relationship between self-destruction and success.

If you haven’t listened to the track before (i assume most people haven’t even heard of the name Porter Robinson before), take a listen!

The song intros with dialogue from a Tim Westwood interview with Lil Wayne, an artist who has received multiple criticisms about his substance abuse over his career.

But it’s not a beautiful thing because nobody knows what’s in the cup
…
So whatever the hell was in my cup, the only reaction I did
Was got more popular, more successful
Did a lot more things that I’ve ever done
…
I probably should pick that cup back up.

Beyond the obvious, the notion of the cup literally refers to the opioid/promethazine drink colloquially known as Lean – and by extension – Lil Wayne’s usage of recreational drugs throughout his career. While he admits that his drug usage may not be a “beautiful thing”, he recognises that it had paved the path for him to become “successful” – bringing up the age-old question of whether the ends can justify the means.

Throughout this initial interview snippet, Porter introduces the underlying theme of the song: to what extent can the ends justify the means? Is success derived from our failures, or are we successful despite our failures? If our own self-destruction led to our success, should we pick up the cup again?

As the song continues, Porter sings a few lyrics that really strikes a chord (heh):

I asked you, “If I never changed, would you love me?” Expecting the negative
Clever, turning the question around to me was obvious
…
The answer was obvious

Do you love yourself? Would you love yourself if you had never changed, and kept making the same mistakes as the version of you from 1/2/5/10 years ago?

I don’t think I could.

To remain unchanged is a rejection of the human experience – a rejection of your memories, your experiences, and the beautiful people you meet everyday. I find myself inherently afraid of stagnation, afraid that I will remain as I am now for eternity, afraid that my thoughts will never be challenged, my worldview will never be expanded, my momentary existence on this planet never having significance.

Everyone wants to be perfect. Why wouldn’t you? Always making the right decisions, always saying the right thing, never having a blemish to your name or reputation. Paradoxically however, it is this strive for perfection that actually inhibits perfection; a drive to never fail, to never err, only obstructs you from taking steps to be the person you want to be.

I cannot begin to count the amount of times I’ve failed a weightlifting set, the amount of times I’ve fucked up a volleyball play, or the amount of times I’ve chosen the wrong dialogue option. Some were so atrociously bad that I still lament over them at night. But, only through these mistakes – only through these failures – was I able to lift more weight than I ever thought I could, was I able to become a better volleyball player, was I able to nourish friendships that I hold near and dear to my heart.

Whatever you do, don’t pick that same cup back up. Don’t dive into same pitfalls you were trapped in before. There is beauty in each scar, in each blemish, because it represents a lesson learned, a mistake learnt from, pivoting you step-by-step towards becoming a better existence.

Choose a different cup instead!